Missing

I think the look on his face says a lot about
how I feel at the moment!

Over the last week or so I have had moments or hours or sometimes a full day of missing Sweden. Of course I miss it for the sake of my family and friends, but lately I have begun to realise that I also miss the country all in it's own right. I love it here in England but I will never be truly English. I am when it comes down to it an immigrant. I may not be very far from my home country and I may be here willingly, even so I feel different. My English is quite good (not as good as I would like it to be though) but it's things like my name that give away that I'm not "one of them" and I never really will be, people will keep asking where I come from. And that is fine, I don't mind, but it reminds me that this is not my identity.


Since I've moved my cultural identity as a Swedish person has become more important to me. Even though I know Sweden will always be there the day I want to move back there's still a part of me that clammers to it. Just before I moved I bought a necklace with little Dalecarlian Horses on it and I've lost it... I must have left it in Sweden over Christmas or lost it in the move :( Hope I find it soon. The Dalecarlian Horse is the symbol for my home county, Dalarna. Sitting here thinking about it I would like to carve one for myself, but I'm pretty sure I'd manage to take a finger off in the process..

Just such a small thing as not speaking my own language on a regular basis. I do speak to Thomas sometimes, the only other exile Swede I know around here. It's really nice  to be able to relax and do what comes more naturally to me than English. I need someone to come visit me so I can ramble on in Swedish for a few days..! I think I need a dose of home.

Speaking of missing people and things - when I was in Morrison's yesterday somebody was playing with a sqeaky dog toy and my heart almost broke, I missed Amadeus so much.. On August 1st he turns 14 and it looks like I won't be able to see him before that :/ Hence doggie pictures today. I need Puppie-cuddles!

Do me a favour and hug your dog! Or family! Things are not the same without them..
Huggles
Saga xx